If Only
by Coral Q's bff
Summary: If only he was stronger. If only he was better. If only he was up to par, perhaps none of this would have happened. MukuroxGokudera 6959


Coral: Okay, I wanted to do this one shot just to get the 6959 fan in me satisfied. I'm not sure how well I did here, so I'll leave it up to you guys. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Akira Amano owns KHR not I.

If Only...

He should have been stronger...

He was too weak to protect him, the one and only light within the dark cruel world.

He should have been stronger... These words resonate throughout his mind over and over, painfully reminding him of what he could have done. He struggles not against the binds that hold him. The tight shackles bind him to the reality he is responsible for. His heavy heart beats weakly and his breathing slow and hoarse. A pathetic sight, and he is still alive. Alive, and himself. Only himself. Dull green eyes scan the dark cold walls. Walls which reach up to eternity. Nothing else, but walls. And one single door leading to chaos and oblivion. It... It could have been... It should have been... But it never was. The dream... He failed... He failed...

Stir he does not, when the large door creaks open, shining blinding light within the dark room. Within the light, the creature comes, a deceptive sight of purity. Step by step he approaches the shackled one, kneeling down and finally wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Gokudera-kun..." breathes the small voice, sending waves of destructive hope within the other. "I missed you..."

Sickening sweet are the caresses to his worn out face, entangled fingers in his dirty matted hair. Once pure silver, now dull grey from dust. The young man jerks his head away. He can not bear it.

The smaller one shares a slight almost affectionate smile. He leans and tilts the other's pale face towards himself. "Gokudera-kun, are you happy?" A little pout on those soft lips. "You aren't?"

No answer was given by the other boy. He has already shut his eyes closed. No more... No more... He pleads from within. But of course, his pleas are never answered.

"I'm happy, though, that you're here with me." continues the young one as though there is nothing wrong with the world at all. "You were always by my side, Gokudera-kun. Do you remember?"

Gokudera Hayato gasps as nimble fingers trace the frame of his neckline. Stop... Please stop...

"Gokudera-kun..."

Stop it...

"Gokudera-kun..."

Stop using it...

"Do you remember? So long ago?"

Stop using his voice!

And the images come, as they always have... An endless reel of the past playing over and over within the silverette's mind. His boss... Was finally the Tenth of Vongola.

He remembers vividly of the happiness and celebrations that followed from that day onward.

The Shimon family became allies with the Vongola over a truce for the sake of peace. The mafia prospered shortly after under the promising rule of Sawada Tsunayoshi. All was well... Until that day... Gokudera grits his teeth, but the memory comes nonetheless.

_Gokudera-kun... I think it is for the best that we put it behind us..._

A sharp pang in his chest. He was... He was only sixteen...

_I don't think there is any need for alarm... I... We... Our family..._

Only sixteen...

_Trust him..._

And faith he placed in that monster. Hayato knew... He knew that boy could not be trusted.

_We will work together for a grand future..._

But he could not stop him.

_Kufufufu..._

That boy betrayed the Tenth Vongola boss's trust. He knew from the moment he laid his eyes upon mismatched auburn... And crimson. From then on, everything spiraled out of control. He should have stopped it all...

_Tenth... What have you done to the Tenth?_

_I would think you, of all people would know, Gokudera Hayato, kufufu..._

_You... You..._

_Ah, but... It would appear that it's very much easy to end it all here and now..._

_Stop it! Don't do anything to him!_

_Oya? So you wish to cooperate...? Kufufufu... Very good..._

He couldn't do anything... Because he wasn't strong... Not like him. Not like the others.

_Ne... Gokudera Hayato-kun... Shall we begin our new future...?_

Hayato grits his teeth, choking back a sob. They were... They all were...

"Eh...? Gokudera-kun, are you crying?" inquired the other as though concerned. Small nimble fingers once again wound themselves in the silverette's hair. "Don't be... Say, I know what will make you happy! You'd like to see everyone again, right?"

He curses his own weakness, his own faults, opening his soft jade eyes slowly acknowledging the monster that he could have prevented. Those red burgundy eyes staring into his own. A wide smile on those small lips. Almost reminiscent of... His true smile. Thumbs softly brush at his cheeks.

"That's much better, Gokudera-kun! See, there's nothing to cry about! After all, everyone can be together again! Remember our promise, Gokudera-kun? We can see the fireworks together."

The young man stills. No. Not again...

"Say... I think they're here already!" cries the voice in glee, mocking him of his crimes. Yes, he is the one who allowed this to happen... This future... "Come here, everyone! Say hello to Gokudera-kun!"

One by one they come, shadows of what they once were. Yamamoto Takeshi, Hibari Kyoya, Sasagawa Ryohei, and all the rest of his friends... All with that accursed red eye... His heart sinks low within his chest. Even Reborn is unable to break the curse. All because...

_You only need to do as I say, Hayato... After all..._

He isn't strong enough to protect them.

_What is a mafia boss without his right hand...?_

Hayato jerks his head away from the monster's repulsive touch. He will have no more of it. The other has won. What more does he want?

"Oh? I'm really hurt, Gokudera-kun. Why would you do that?" A pout on the smaller one's face. His face suddenly brightened, as though enlightened. "Or... You wish to see _him_ instead?"

The silver head gives no satisfaction of an answer. If the monster wishes to kill him, then let him do so. There is nothing for him any more.

"I see. Gokudera-kun, he will be here right shortly. Remember to behave." A sudden sharp smirk, malicious and bold upon the boy's lips. "He gets angry if you're not on your best behavior." The boy falls, marking the arrival of demon who comes.

The young man prepares himself for the worst. This is it, he thinks to himself as his gaze come upon the tall figure, whose scarlet sapphire eyes brings fear to all.

Rokudo Mukuro.

A deep chuckle from the young man as he grips his trident lightly. He bends down slowly to the other's level, leaning close. "Ara, ara, Hayato-kun... What have you been doing this entire time?" When he receives no answer, Mukuro chuckles once more. "We have only just begun our new beginning, and you disappear without a trace. That broke my heart... I thought you had died." Lifting up a leather covered hand, he traces the pale jawline. "But here you were this entire time. You lock yourself here... Possibly so that I may not use you any further..." He closes his eyes in amusement. "Loyal to Tsunayoshi-kun to the end, I see... Were you hoping to find the end to this? Of course... You weren't able to." The hand reaches up the soft forehead, brushing aside dull grey locks. "Kufufu... But, I must thank you, Hayato-kun..." His eyes open half lidded, a sharp glint in those devious orbs. "It is because of you, after all, that I am able to achieve as I had. If you had steadied your hand and killed Tsunayoshi-kun... I may have never been able to use his power to bring the mafia world to its own demise!" He leans close to the other young man, a cruel smile of loving deception upon his lips. "Tsunayoshi-kun... Doesn't deserve a fine right hand such as yourself..."

Hayato widens his eyes in pure shock at the soft lips covering his own. His stomach lurch in repulsion. Gripping the chains hard, he leans back against the wall as hard as he could, trying to twist his head away. He kicks at Mukuro, doing all he can to force the blue haired man away. All of his efforts are in vain, seeming to give no obstacle to the taller man's advances. Those hands run down the thoracic area of his body, fumbling underneath his shirt, eagerly reaching the skin. He reaches up and with all his might grasp at the illusionist's shoulders, pushing him away for a bit. "St-stop it! Just kill me already! You already have everything!" screech the silver head. "You destroyed the mafia world. Vongola doesn't exist anymore! The whole world is already under your control to do as you please! Just kill me!"

Mukuro is a bit surprised at this sudden burst of energy, quite different from the young man from just a moment ago. This time he has more spirit in him, almost like he is the Smoking Bomb once more. But... His lips widen in a mocking smile. "You wish to die, Hayato?" He caresses the young man's neck, slowly tracing a line across from right to left. He takes his trident and press it against Hayato's jugular, emitting a gasp. "I can easily do so... But no. I shall not do it. You're much too good for me to do it. Do you understand, Hayato-kun? You've done so much for me... I _can't _let you die." The illusionist grasps Hayato's chin, tilting it toward him. "Kufufufu... No... I will not kill you. I would much rather have you here, by my side... Always, Hayato..."

Hot kisses trail down the poor man's neck. Gokudera pitifully gaze at the brunet, who still lies there on the ground. Nevermore, Sawada Tsunayoshi. Nevermore, Tenth. I'm sorry... The silverette inwardly begs for his dear friend's forgiveness. His friend, who will never return.

"Shall we leave this pitiful hole? It doesn't befit you, dear Hayato..." purrs the monstrous beast and with his triple pronged weapon, he shatters the shackles. Taking his prize within the security of his arms, he leaves, stepping right on the brunet's body, leaving it in dirt.

Hayato gaze at the horizon dully. The sky was a mix of scarlet and sapphire, a fitting beginning to the end of what he once knew. He never has been a fitting right hand. Never.


End file.
